Sunday, November 2, 2008

A really sad day

I woke up early yesterday excited to be meeting up with my friend Donna (who has now joined the blog list ) for breaky. It was a big drive into Civic for me and only getting a little lost once. I arrived early and sat in the car and rang my wonderful husband and had a quick chat. Then I thought I would ring Aunty Joan and organise to pop over. My Aunty Joan is my late Mothers Sister and the only older blood relative I have left. Uncle Geoff answered and then shattered my world.
Aunty Joan is in a nursing home. She has dementia and has had several strokes. She can not walk or move is incontinent and can just talk a little.
I organised to meet up with Geoff at his place in the afternoon and accompany him down to see her.
I did enjoy my breakfast but inside my heart was whirling. This precious woman was all I kept thinking.
So at 2,30 I was at their home. Geoff then told me of the heartache he has had over the past 18 months, but more recently the past 6 months. Her last stroke about a month ago has really incapacitated her. We left to go down and visit. Geoff armed with a juice nectar a paper bag with straws in it, a little container of chopped fruit salad (mango, paw paw, rockmelon, honeydew melon and banana) and also a few nuts in a little container and nail scissors.
We arrived at the home and went into the secured area and there was my Aunty Joan. I would not have known her. This tiny woman with grey hair all scrunched up on a chair was my Aunty Joan that was once such a big strong woman....
I managed to wake her and for the hour we were there we talked..well Geoff and I talked and Joan did a little..like nodded said yes but mostly was very vacant and not really understanding. Geoff carefully fed her a little of the chopped fruit a couple of little nuts and fed her the juice in a straw. I clipped her finger and toenails which I have never done for anyone else except my Mum. I also got the chance to pray with Joan and Geoff which was really precious.

When we left Geoff was quite happy with the visit and said it was the best she had been for a long time. We went home and Geoff made me a cup of tea and we talked more. He is so lonely and sad that Joan will never come home again, but releived of having the responsibility of caring for her.
I told Geoff that I would pop in and see Joan again today and I know that it will be to say goodbye. I know that I really said good bye 18 months ago at Danny and Adeles on that sunday morning.
After I left I stopped on the way home and I thought of what she had meant to me ( she was the Mum that I didn't have, she was the grandma to my kids and she was my friend) She loved to hear about the kids, Kim and his cricket, etc and helped me find our home in Rivett, find schools for the kids in Canberra, minded Kim for me, looked after Clare when she needed it.
So I will go and say goodbye today. Goodbyr to an amazing woman. Please pray for all the family. I know its heartbreaking for all of them. and for Uncle Geoff. They all need our prayers.
I came home to Danny and Adelesand they listened while I talked and cried and drank too much wine. Del had cooked a beautiful dinner and I was in bed about 9. Big day.
Will write about today soon

2 comments:

Kirsty said...

Oh mummy, that must have been just awful. How heartbreaking for Jeff, and for you...I don't know how we hadn't heard about this happening???

Anonymous said...

I am already praying Ginny!

Smiley of the Moment